Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say Volume 22

## Thursday, November 27, 2014

### Things Teenagers Say Volume 22

Happy Thanksgiving!  I know I have so much to be thankful for this year.  One thing I'm thankful for is that not a day goes by where my students don't make me laugh.  So, I think it's only fitting to share some things teenagers say today.  :)

Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21

In high school, my trig teacher taught me to use the sentence "All students take calculus" to remember which trig ratios were positive in each quadrant of the coordinate plane.  I told my students that they were free to create their own sentence.  I was kinda hoping that creating their own sentence would help it stick in their brains a little better.  Here's what they came up with:

Satan always tempts children.  [Then, we had to discuss how the letters needed to reflect the numbering of the quadrants...]
All selfies; too cute.
All sisters talk crap.
Aliens sometimes take cows.

--

Note to self.  Don't wear all black to school.  Your students will ask all sorts of crazy questions?

Student 1: Why are you wearing all black today?  Did your cat die?
Me: [Sigh] I don't own a cat.
Student 1: Well, you don't own a cat now.  It died.
Student 2: Guys, maybe her plant died.  Maybe that's why she's wearing all black.

In another class:

Why are you wearing all black  Did you run over a cat on your way to school?  I bet you left your house dressed all colorfully like you normally are.  Then, you ran over a cat and went back to your house to put on black clothes in mourning.

Student 1: I know why you're wearing all black.  You're actually a werewolf.
Student 2: Wait - Ms. Hagan can't be a werewolf.  She doesn't eat meat.
Student 1: She must be a vegewolf, then.

--

Student: Can you PEMDAS this for me?
Me: What?!?
Student: Oh, I meant can you DESMOS this for me?
Me: Of course! :)

--

Sure. My number is 918-BACK-OFF.

--

Student 1: If I buy you a cat can I have an A?
Student 2: What if I buy you three cats, could I have an A?
Student 3: What if I buy you a boyfriend?
Student 4: What if I buy you a plant?

--

Student: Did you meet your boyfriend at church?
Me: No.
Student: Well, that means you can't marry him then.

--

Pi Girl is mean.

--

Would you still love me if I had ebola?

--

Stop "Not Yetting" and start writing "Almost There."

--

I just got strangled by a ghost in Ms. Hagan's class.

--

Do you know what my dad calls people who don't eat meat?  Un-American

--

--

I sent a girl a direct message on twitter.  I told her that I had looked through her insta photos, and it looked like she was suffering from a lack of Vitamin "ME."

--

Your patience is really short right now.  I think you should lengthen it.

--

If you were an angle, you'd be an acute one.

--

She ain't Chef Boyardee or Paula Deen.

--

I hope the desk breaks and he breaks his pelvis bone.

--

I've got chemistry on my hand.

--

If you're wondering why I wrote "elims" on my homework, it's "smile" spelled backwards.

--

Wow Ms. Hagan.  You have a good mind.  Sometimes.

--

Wow, in five years, you're going to be 30!

--

Student 1: Look at Ms. Hagan, all bundled up.
Student 2: Yeah, she's like a little vegan burrito over there.

--

Do you know what?  I've never seen an ugly twin in my life.  I wonder if they even exist.

--

I hate twins.  [Said by a twin.]

--

I saw that homework you're going to give us today.  And, I want to punch you in the forehead because of it.